Haiti Blog

The Pencil of God Has No Eraser...is a Haitian proverb. I love proverbs from other cultures.

The following are my journal entries while I was in Haiti...feel free to scroll through to look through the pictures or read the passages. Thank you to everyone who helped support me on this trip. Let me know if there is anything from the trip you'd like to talk about...I know its a lot so I'm not offended if you just want to look at the pictures. :)

I have recently completed my first year of seminary and it was both challenging and rewarding not only academically but spiritually as well. As many students probe deeper into the study of theology, questions bubble up along the way. The question that kept coming up for me was what does it mean to be a Christian in a world that contains suffering? The exploration of this topic led me all the way to the poorest slum in the poorest country in the western hemisphere: the Cite Solei area of Port-au-Prince, Haiti.
While in Haiti I mainly visited the St. Joseph’s Family in Haiti, which includes the St. Joseph's Home for Boys in Port-au-Prince, Wings of Hope in Fermathe, and Trinity House in Jacmel. In 1985, Michael Geilenfeld, a former Brother with Mother Theresa’s Brothers of Charity, started a small home for five boys to bring them off the streets and offer them a Christian family life. Today there are now three homes serving more than 60 children. Graduates from the first home, St. Joseph’s Home for Boys, run a home for disabled children called Wings of Hope outside Port-au-Prince and a home for young boys called Trinity House in the small coastal town of Jacmel.
I had what some might consider an odd reaction after traveling back from Haiti. I was euphoric . I came back feeling joyful and hope-filled. I had been amidst such deep suffering and yet I had witnessed such a deep faith among the people of Haiti. Worshipping with them while I was there, I had never felt so welcome. They embraced a ministry of hospitality that was fully welcoming of me simply because I was a member of the Body of Christ. I came to Haiti to minister to others but I was the one ministered to. I have never had my faith tested in the way that the people of Haiti have. If anything my life feels idealic in comparison with the stories of street children and child slaves that I heard. Yet to worship alongside of them strengthened my own faith. I could not help but feel that if they could shout praises to the Lord in the midst of suffering than how could I could do anything less than that. Ellen Davis notes that the sufferer who keeps looking for God has, in the end, privledged knowledge. The one who complains to God, pleads with God, rails at God, and does not let God off the hook – she is at last admitted to a mystery. She passes through a door that only pain will open and is qualified to speak of God in a way that other, whom we generally call more fortunate, cannot speak. The sufferer than becomes a teacher , a theological resource for the rest of the community because they so fully know what it means to live out what Jesus refers to as the greatest commandment – to love God with our whole heart.
The other half of that commandment is to love our neighbor because when we love our neighbor we are more fully loving God by doing the will of God. So that means for us as believers that we must care about the Haiti’s of this world. While in Haiti I met many children who were orphans or abandoned by parents who simply had no means for caring for them. These children became street children living and sleeping in the streets or restaveks, child slaves. As I encountered these children I could not help but think of the passage in Matthew in which Jesus addresses “the least of these.” Matthew 18:1-5. This passage is contained in Jesus’ fourth of five teaching discourses located within the Gospel of Matthew. In the fourth discourse, Jesus outlines for the disciples what it means to live in Christian community with ideas concerning discipline and forgiveness. The passage begins with a disciple asking who the greatest in the kingdom of heaven is. In this culture, we typically think of “greatness” consisting of wealth, power, and status and this would have been important for the imperial elite. However, Jesus surprises us in the next line by offering an alternative vision which gives preference to children. This is not a reference to innocence or purity but instead a counter-cultural message. Jesus is referring to those who are excluded from mainstream society, the powerless, without economic resources, vulnerable, threatened, and submissive. While this passage is a reference to all members of marginalized society it is also beautifully illustrated in the children of Haiti: the suffering members of society who go unnoticed. It teaches us that Jesus was less concerned with social status and more concerned with humility. Jesus was concerned with the marginalized members of society and therefore so should we.

Monday, March 16, 2009 - Day 11

Morning prayer and then packing. During our sessions with Michael he had given us a pencil and today he has asked us to draw parallels between the pencil and our spiritual journey while in Haiti. My conclusion is that the pencil is an instrument in God's hand. When the pencil is being used it diminishes itself but in doing so it gives meaning to words and drawings that our meaningful and will live on. To be meaningful someone must teach you through sharpening it and the words produced by the pencils are more meaningful when shraed with others who find different meanings in the words. I sat there during the last session with a lump in my throat. It was sad to leave in a way that I had never been sad before. This was a life-altering experience in a way that sounds cliche when I try to explain it. I will never be able to convey properly to someone not here with me what I have experienced. I have held life and death in the same hand. While some of the mories will fade I dod not believe that I can ever fully come back to the life of before. I now live in the tension of Haiti and the US. It is a world full of beauty, amazing art, and rich, deep faith that endures suffering -- it is a faith tested. As I write this I am watching the dance team choreograph a dance to "When I can Call on Jesus" by Nicole C. Mullens, a favorite song. Yet another remind of how closely intertwined and yet how far apart my life is from the life of the Haitians. I know this much to be true...we all members of the Body of Christ and when a part of the body is banged or bruised we have to care. This is what it means to love your neighbor with all your heart and in turn God. Furthermore, those who have experienced suffering have experienced our God in a way that we never have and they have lessons to teach us. This is what I take with me.

Sunday, March 15, 2009 - Day 10

Church with the boys and the other guests in the home this morning. The service included liturgical dances by the boys, readings, prayers, and hymns in both Kreyol and English. The service was so welcoming of all of its english speakers - another of the various signs of hospitality offered at the house. At the conclusion of the service we all took Communion together - yet another very present sign that regardless of our backgrounds we are all united in the Body of Christ. After the service we gathered to eat lunch on the balcony and one of the guys is playing guitar and sang us a song he had written himself. He has a beautiful voice.

After lunch we drove out to Croix de Bouquets. There we found a low-income neighborhood full of metal artists. They make metal work out of old oil drums and this is the only place in Haiti that you can find this type of artwork. It is beautiful and what irony for artwork to be made out of oil durms when oils is considered such a high commodity in this world. The creation of these peices of art is counter-intuitive to their purpose.

After dinner we were asked to spend time with our prayer partners but as my prayer partner was out, I helped the younger boys doe their evening chore of doing dishes for all the guests. It felt so good just to wash tables, just to return the spiritual gift of hospitality that I had been a recipient of.

That night we had bravos as a mission team group to close out our time together. We gave "awards" to one another and I was given the "I AM WHO I AM" award for asking the most deep theological questions throughout the trip. What can I say? This trip was thought provoking. We took turns complimenting each other and laughing. Afterwards, we climbed up on the roof to sit under the stars one last time...

Saturday March 14, 2009 - Day 9

We were invited to the two homes next door to the convent for a visit (photos from the vists and Fondwa above). It was wonderful and very kind. At the first home she provides us with cuban coffee, coffee ground with sugar. It was so sweet and good, not bitter at all. It would be a perfect desert.

After coffee we hiked up the mountain to the van -- a mile and 1/2 straight up. Most people took a truck part of the way but I managed to make it the whole way up on foot. I was exhausted but I made it.

We road back to Port-au-Prince and stopped by an art market. I bought a nativity set fashioned out of a cocanut. Aftewards we went back to St. Joseph's were Walnus gave us a tour of all the artwork in the house. Beautiful paintings line the walls. After dinner we finally got a chance to give back to the boys a little bit for all their hospitality. Dariel, Tolu, and I helped the boys with the dishes. We watched the dance theatre again. Afterwards, the rain began to pour. It's the first day it rained on our trip and therefore its also the first night I slept in my actual bedroom inside at St. Joseph's (it's so nice sleeping on the patios).

Friday, March 13, 2009 - Day 8

After breakfast we watched a coral performance from the school children at the Trinity House School. They were wonderful. I also had the opportunity to walk Richie to class, a kindergarten student I had made friends with the day before.

Then we heard the story of Jacky (see photo), the dance group's choreographer. Jacky lived with his mom for 9 years until she died of malaria (treatable in the US). His father had left ot have another family whne he was a baby (not very uncommon). After his mother's death, Jacky lived as a restavek (child slave) before coming to St. Joseph's at age 11. He said that he was mistreated by his aunt and uncle because he was not their own children. He came to Trinity House to teach dance in 2003 and to educate kids about how much better life is at Trinity House then on the street. His hope for Trinity House is that the boys believe that they can build a future. After hearing Jackie's story, the boys at Trinity House sang us a farewell song and we hit the road.

It was an hour up to the mountains of Fondwa. We passed amazing views and a roadside market. We stopped in Fondwa and from there walked a mile and a half because the road was too steep to the convent (see photo of convent, church on the way down, and pictures of the hike) we were staying at. After arriving at the convent we walked down to the neighboring school just as the students were getting out for the week (see picture of the school, a classroom, and their new library). We also met Jamilyn who is a Duke Divinity School gradute who moved to Fondwa for two years with her husband following school. They now live in Indiana and make visits to Haiti.

We walked back to the convent and the nuns had graciously prepared us a wondeful lunch of plantains, chicken, black beans, rice, and eggplant. The nuns definately practice radical hospitality -- we had planned on pbj's. After lunch we walked to the orphange down the road. It was down a very steep incline off the main road (see photos). We hiked down and played with the children. There were at least 20 kids there. The are 3 nuns who live there and the older girls who are not married or in school help out. I played with a 4-year-old named Jobie and I talked with Linda, a 15-year-old who spoke incredible english. She was very nice and thought it was cool that our names are similar.
For dinner the nuns sang Happy Birthday to Nicole in Kreyol. After dinner, Jamilyn told us her story. She was back in Haiti for one of several visits she makes a year. She explained her hestiation at moving to Haiti and how a trip there during Divinity School had been her visit out of the country. She described the culture shock at going to the grocery store for the first time when she got back to America and saw all the food choices. She felt overwelmed by all the choices in America not afforded members of third-world counties. She encouraged us to pick a practice to alter in our lives to honor Haiti. She explained that she felt that the Haitians wanted nice things and so we shouldn't shun nice things. However, they took good care of what they had and that was the practice she chose to adopt. It's overwelming the thought of returning to life in the US, a life of major consumption after seeing life in Haiti. That night I fell asleep early but began hearing sounds of people walking to the market, an hour's walk away up the steep hill, shortly after 3 am...

Thursday, March 12, 2009 - Day 7

We were up at 4:30 to leave by 6 for the 3 hour drive through the mountains to Jacmel, which is by the beach. I took a Dramamine and slept the whole way but was jerked awake when we nearly had a head on collision with another car (people pass at will) but due to the quick thinking of our driver we narrowly avoided the wreck.

When we arrived at Trinity House, the third of the St. Joseph's homes the children met us in the courtyard singing "This is the Day" and then ran towards us at full speed giving us all a hug. It was a welcome like none other. We got a tour of the house. Sixteen boys live here and travel out into the community for school. There are 50 students who come into the house to be educated during the day -- grades K-3. These children live in the poverty stricken area around the school and would without a school otherwise. This house is the smallest of the homes and has no guest rooms so we will all sleep on the floor together. The house has its own dance team too and hopes to add on a bakery to raise funds. The house was started by Melchi, a St. Joseph's graduate who runs the house.

When we arrived we did art projects with the school children after lunch. I made mobiles with the kindergarten class (see photo). Afterwards we walked the children home. Their homes were just outside of the school grounds and they lived in cinder block homes with meager means (see photo).

That afternoon we we walked down to the neighboring beach. After dinner we saw the Trinity School's dance team perform. They even danced with fire. At the end once more the audience joined in and danced. Afterwards, we sang Happy Birthday to Nicole a girl on the trip with us. We had a birthday cake baked at a local bakery that was awesome. The boys also displayed their beautiful artwork after the dance class.

Then Melchi (in blue in the photo next to his look-a-like, Dariel from our group), the director of Trinity House shared his story with us. Melchi's mother and father were murdered when he was young. For 2 years he lived on the street before going to St. Joseph's where he grew up. When a boy turns 21 he ages out of St. Joseph's so when Melchi turned 31 he came to Jacmel to start a house like St. Joseph's named Trinity House. The house began with 4 boys in 200. It is now the place where new boys to the St. Joseph's Family Homes comes when they first arrive. Melchi believes God chose him to come to St. Joseph's and choose him to help other kids like him. He says that you should let God choose for you in your life. Melchi ministers to children who have lost their families. He told us that he considers us friends because we chose to come here and sleep on the floor when we could have stayed in a hotel or at home. Yet this feels like the very least that I could do. I never cease to be amazed that despite the pain they have endured, the Haitians have such a large capacity to love. How much do they tell us about love and forgiveness?

After Melchi's talk we laid down on the floor to sleep -- 17 of us on the floor in one room. I will say that there has been some serious team building on this trip. :)

Wednesday, March 11, 2009 - Day 6

We leave for Jamel tomorrow. There will be 26 visitors. They have never hosted that many before at Trinity House and they are unsure how tight it will be and if there will be enough supplies.

In our session with Michael this morning we talk about simplicity. "To him more is given, more is expected" -- big earners are called to be big givers. Are you prepared to rise to that level? Most of the time when St. Joseph's receives money it is from the less wealthy. We also talk about how to minister to people who have lost family members due to the effects of malnutrition -- by being present and compassionate. We underestimate presence and the power of a smile. We are so focused on the lack of material things here that we miss the spiritual abundance.

After our lesson with Michael some of us opted to travel to the Mother Theresa baby hospital which is run by the same Sisters of Charity that I visted yesterday. It wasn't hard to figure out what to do here, there were 6 rooms wall-to-wall with cribs. You pick up a baby. I walked into a room and a little boy held out his arms to me. He was 2, Yondel. I held him and soon figured out how to hold another 2-year-old boy at the same time, Job. I left them down to walk but despite being slightly younger, Job was quicker so when a man asked to hold Job I stuck out the morning with Yondel. Many of the parents were there visiting and the sounds of the children crying when the bell rang for the parents to leave was terrible. I walked from crib to crib with Yondel in my arms trying to comfort children. Later I picked up 2-year-old Rochelyn who was tiny but full of life. I fed the kids. They ate egs and nutrition crackers as well as rice with some type of stew over it. There were groups visiting alongside of us from Arizona and Indiana and a women who came down for weeks at a time to work there -- from New York and Wisconsin. Father Tim from Indiana explained to me that his parish partnered with 2 churches in Haiti and came down 4 times a year to work in the baby hospital and the churches. He said that many of the children had parents who were too poor to provide adequately for their children. The hospital was like a revolving door where children come for a few weeks to be treated from the diseases of malnutrition. To my surprise this was one of my favorite visits.

That afternoon I watched the dance team rehearse -- they practice 2 hours a couple of times a week. I also tried Haitian soda -- it tasted like bubble gum flavored amoxocylin. I was not a fan. Soni helped me with my Kreyol. After dinner the dance theatre performed again to a packed house. After the dance theatre we played darts in the kitchen with the boys. I wasn't very good but thankfully my prayer partner was. In between turns, Bill told me that he goes to class 3 days a week between 9-4 and 2 days a week between 9-7. He works at the house until midnight and then does homework until 2-2:30 then gets up at 4:30 to lead morning prayer. I asked him how he manages it between working on an accounting degree and working at the home and he told that he did what he had to do with the opportunities given to him. Bill is a pretty remarkable person.

Before bed I met Rolan, he is the father of Caleb 5, and Didi, 8. Rolan is a security guard at St. Joseph's, he has worked there since Didi was a baby and brings him to work with him. Didi would watch the dances and starting practicing with them at 3. He is now touring with the group and is their youngest performer. Didi has been to Texas and California with the dance team. Rolan works hard to educate his sons and to provide for his wife and parents. Rolan has a deep faith and works to give his family the best possible life. He was a joy to meet.

Tuesday, March 10, 2009 - Day 5

I awoke to the sound of hymns rising from the street -- it could have been a gathering for a death or birth but due to the cheerful nature of the hymns I assume that it was in celebration of a birth. Soon after I heard the 5am bell for the boy's morning prayer. The boys gather every morning at 5 for a 10 minute morning prayer to pray together before school. It was in Kreyol but I could join in the Lord's Prayer and they sang "In the Garden" for us in english.

After breakfast, the group was divided into three with part going to Mother Theresa's baby hosptial, part going to Mother Theresa's home for the dying, and the other going to the Brothers of Charity clinic. I went to the home for the dying. I was intimidated at first. We were there to give massages to the dying and I had never considered myself a touchy feely person, I am often grossed out by medical things, and the level of modesty in Haiti is not the same as in America. I was out of my element. However as I offered massages, I kept thinking of the woman washing Jesus' feet and Michael's reminder that morning to bee Jesus to another person. There was a room full of women with TB and another wid AIDS. I then found a small group of girls in the hallway. The nuns were Spanish and Indian with impecible English. The first girl I held in my arms and painted her nails and played a game with her. The nuns explained that she had been brought in deathly ill with her older sister a couple of weeks before. They had typhoid and menigitis. This girl pulled through but her sister did not. The nun explained that despite having a family she was so distraught that she told the nuns she wanted to die when her sister died. The nun asked me to put vitamin a & d on the limbs of another small child who body had been ravaged by malnutrition. She cried because her legs were so raw from skin peeling. They were waiting for the results of her TB test and she had worms. I rubbed her back and sang to her trying to comfort her. The nuns explained to me that her parents come to see her everyday but are too poor to feed her. The huns said that when she was healed they would give her faimly food for a year but often people would not take their medicine and sold the food on the street. The nuns explained that children were not normally at the hospice home but it was because they had come out of the attached clinic so sick they needed somewhere to stay. I also met Noel was was 100 -- she is the oldest person I've ever met. Her body was ravaged by scabies. Many were scared to touch her but I used gloves and relized that the chance contracting the disease was small and it was treatable in the US. I thought of the lepers from the Bible and how horrible it must be not to be touched. This was the hardest, most emotionally draining day yet.

After this we went to the Caribbean market, which is like a large supermarket. The well off shop here -- it has the same things as an American supermarket. It was mostly filled with foreigners. I never saw another place like while I was in Haiti.

When we got back to St. Joseph's we painted the floor with our prayer partners while listening to American hip-hop. I painted alone as my prayer partner was at school. It was so much fun to paint the floors of the new art center they are building for the community next to St. Joseph's. Amazing artwork is created here -- see the work of one of the guys in the community. Check out my painting above, Scott's awesome soccer painting, and Fieyole's sun.

That evening we heard the story of Leon and Jackie Dorleans whose schools we had visited the previous day. Leon was US educated and wanted to start a Bible college in Hait. He was asked to be the pastor at Cite Soleil, the poorest slum in Haiti and began this work. Leon offered a school to train church leaders and it was at this school that he met his wife Jackie when she was offered a scholarship from a Bible school professor who was impressed by her. They were married and she told Leon that she wanted her contribution to ministry to be schools. So they started schools at Blanchard and Cite Soleil. They now have medical clinics and churches there as well. There are over 1,000 who attend church at Blanchard and Cite Soleil. There were over 347 at the service we attended at Blanchard. They have also started a very popular vocation school at Blanchard. They have several successful graduates from the schools including a girl from the poorest slum who is in her 5th year of medical school and top of her class. The schools are currently through the 6th grade but they hope to start a high school by 2010. The school's greatest need is sponsorship of students who could not afford to go to school otherwise. Education is not a given in Haiti. It costs $300 a year to educated a student -- uniform, materials, and a hot meal (most other schools do not provide this).

After Jackie and Leon's story we took Communion and for the first time I felt the emotional weight of my trip. I was seeing poverty in a way that I had never seen it before. To me the thought of wanting to die seems ludicrious and yet I met a 4-year-old that had already been so wrecked and ravaged by life that she wanted to die. How often do I pray "thank you God for my life" and yet that was the exact prayer that Gary, the assitant director for Wings of Hope prayed that night during our prayer time. It is a very real prayer in Haiti. How do I live in the space of returning to the privledged life that I live knowing that this kind of poverty exists in the world? Knowing as well that my words can never express to you the depth of my experience. This is about giving voice to Haiti.